My Jo.

. . . sana maulit muli”

-Gary Valenciano.

Sa iyo sana I alay ko ito.

At sana ikay nandito pa,

para lan masabi ko,

mahal kita una as my only closest friend.

mahal kita 2nd as would have been your confidant.

and so much I want to hold you for the last time,

and really do tell you.

You loved me where no one even dared love me.

You knew it.

I knew it.

Thing is, with him you had no escape.

Thing is, with him you saw me and I knew how much,

you wanted me to know,

you really cant.

I can only be there,

coz you,

were there.

How much I want,

to go back one last time.

At least just for us two.

Knowing what is your hand offered for my

poker face.


Tuesday’s apyrz.

. . . noon, ngayon at kelanman.

Ang aking diwa nawawala.

Halos wala akong mahita sa mga tamang tao.

Kundi ang maling akala na pinamana sa akin.

For the absolute good intentions,

in their purpose to make valid of sacrifices they have made.

of their knowledge that my life can be,

yet now I am so baffled,

on what I need to be.

Tomorrow is not set or written,

it will be when every microsecond has passed and see its lesson as is.

Bakit sa bucket.

Tell me what is the first thing in mind,

what to do when a job or a career has ended.

List it some say,

Do it anyway,

or have tech do it for U.

Damn it all to pieces.

I’d get me one way ticket to the land of the rising sun,

where the hot mead doesn’t bore the soul.

In a stupor of wanting more 

a blonde aryan who can never speak,

but the butt and or it busts 

your alcohol down where it 

follows to where Nidhogg speaks.

Aye. . .

that be the land;

of ice and stone,

of the love of all gods dead and reborn,

of all wisdom in a mead out of a horn.

Then tell me you puny humans,

scurry about what life you can lead,

into a nonsensical greed of the weed,

that do become nothing into the air we all breathe.


©oam® all artworks by artsydhude 97-18


The vengeance of bs

Kiss me mighty April,

For your rains left me spoiled

to know

you are mine,

to keep me sheltered upon your month.

Yet March never did give me reason

to eat up all that cake alone.

Only  a love of memories that woman did my face,

left me smiling two years removed,

standing on a corner what could have been,

Yet I was naive to partake of that sin.

Walked away,

a lifetime not regretting.



®artsydhude 97-18


Deflect to Reflect.

A feather was given to me by a crow.

It has rainbow colors.

The crow looked at me sideways.

I pulled yellow,

I saw myself at 80’s.

I pulled blue,

I saw myself from a toddler into my 8th year.


I saw none but I felt all of the fear I felt

through all my years.


All of the opportunity missed and experiences.


Felt all the range of rage,

to all my loneliness of all my sorrows.


My immediate and relatives

the ones who loved me,

those who can say but not even dare show.

On a whim of a breeze, I feel the last feather

Shown a color of what people are,

shown the true test of a person’s love and affection.


why even bother to give when one can not even leave

his ego behind, 

and ends what a past can hold.



®artsydhude 7-18


The choice. H.

On a whimper of soft breeze out of the east,
I am reminded of the homeland i knew once.

I took my feet and walked knowing no sense of direction.

I hear a crow spoke in the air, a loud cawing in the distant west.

Once a tale told me,

Go where the sun cannot follow the moon.

Chase that moon into the lands of the sun.

I gave chase to the sound.

I saw a dove perched and stared hard at me.

She said,

young man follow your heart.

young man your mission is not here.

dont follow where you can’t fly.

I awoke with a friendly tongue that slurped me into stickiness.

My love, my darling my Bridget. She once held me as her friend forever.

My darling dog who I once knew when she still with me then.

A familiar tone graced my back.

Pulled me, and gave me a loving tug thena noogie on my hair.

Kuya Paul is here.

I welled up all of my tears,

As I saw the one who recently joined,


She gave me the warmest hug and held me.

A light smile near, all of the loved one dissapeared.

I know him,

He always knew I’d know him by his light smile.

Brother Raphael.

My dear one, let me ease all that pain you come to let go of.

. . . Do not bare it,

. . . Do not share it,

. . . Do not live it.

Learn to unlearn all your struggles.

With a touch,

and the smile.

I am rushed on a temporal quark,

and awoke with a visage of love that stared at me,

lovingly unconditional devoted for me alone.



®artsydhude 07-18


NmV #00.a3

I found an old pen,

I tried writing with it,

It found my heart.

My love flowed from its ink.

My heart knew what my mind couldn’t see.

With all of its ink dried.

What I read out,

The words were not mine,

It said,

 “Love again,

But not people,

Love again,

Not a person.

Love again,

Not yourself.

Love again,

Only the one you know.

Love your own better self,

Love the bitterness of self,

Only then to enjoy what love means,

Only then to love everything and everyone.”





Tbc 3

Have faith in fate.

Believe in destinies.

Trust the mind of the heart,

Life creates what it did destroy

where you think it was,

Will never be.

Nevermind what happened,

In time,

She will conspire with space

They will give you a breathless kiss,

lovingly giving you what heaven feels like,

only to remember where hell was once there.





The tune.

Bone of my bone,

Skull unto me,

My life drains from my own insanity.

Thus what my orbs see,

are nothing compared to others,

all that of suicidal thoughts inside me.

If that black smoke comes in view,

 will I let him influence

that white oblivion and promises me

 it will makes sense.

Do I give in,

would I give up.

What choice will it make out of me.

Will I be my own or a victim of this statistical society.

She is staring at me,

seducing me 

in the bed 

where all are dead.

Whom do I choose.

A pale rider comes up

 in an Elvis get up.

A tune eerily singing.

 “R u lonesome tonight. . .”


A tribute to death suicides,

Death does not discriminate celebrities and common people.