. . Oo,

alam ko naging brutal at grabe ang aking mata.

.. alam ko.

nanyari na, 

kaso pa ulit ulit na lan at di mawala araw araw.

How am I to be. . 

a good person,

a loving parent,

loyal companion.

When a mountain of comparison

never stops only to flow

from your waterfall.

yes it does overflow when I hit

those bricks of assumption not of you,

only the history I partake and eat all of my shit.



®Artsydhude 97-19




. . Is it just when the ice does melt; whereas the fire fire do melt

my tempered attitude willingly deny the truth when your fact is an act

towards not to me.

But you will never admit your mistakes because you still make your egocentric self-defense as,

the one who put me here in this world. 

Here’s Megatron,

use it well let’s see,

so please don’t ever tell me,

I was any Soundwave whom never spoke.

I am not your Decepticon.



®Artsydhude 97-19

Certified life

Nakita mo na,

Kahit di ko na kaya,

Ti tingin ka lan ba.

Alam mo ng di mo na kaya,

alam mo ng super at sakit na ako sa hirap.

Sure alam ko,

you will always watch.

to your amusement.

Para saan pa at andyan ka

sa buhay ko.

Then how do I start,

When can I believe,

How am I going make it eveyday,

I am simply single with a beautiful princess beside me,

and nag i-isang companion in my life lan.

That’s a lie when it does state in a paper 

saying ;

Ma…d .






Buong buhay ko,

gusto sana maparis sa yo.

Kaso nga lan,

ayaw mo.

Buti hindi ako tumulad sa yo.

Because kung nagawa ko yun.

I would be first a spitting image of your own galit sa mundo.

Kaso nga lan,

I will not do so.

Kaso nga lan,

I do not want that.

Your grudge, grumpy and grinchy ways will be yours.

Sa inyo lan yan.

I will le
ave it at that.

I did not want anything of my life,

yet you handed me, mine.

Still you are and will be that one that is like an unchanging spot,

in any carpet that I will avoid and not see.

Kasi yun kamay ko,

sa kin lan.

Yours is yours.

At least at last,

what done is never done.

Its always going to be none,

to see,

only to help you what way I can.

Reminding you,

I was,

I am,


I am not,

still. . .

in honor of aspect.


your son.


®Artsydhude 97-19

. . . papa hirapan ko pa ba ang aking;

mata sa kaka iyak.

puso para magdugo.

kamay sa aking mga abilidad.

Kaso lan,

paano pa kung . . .

eto ay andyan.

eto ay pakita pa.

eto ay nakita sa yo.

How the hell of a fuck,

must I be so naive to think. . .

you can at least know what I had gone thru.

In a way,

I want and need to dig deep and will,

I want and need to dig deep and cry of all tries,

I want and need to dig deep for you to know.

I will not,

Blame all your shame.

Blame how you neglected and abandoned.

Blame how you are and will always be.

In my way. . .

that is how I want to forgive you,

that is how I want to love you.

that is how I will always honor and respect you.

I am to know of a miserable past that doesn’t make sense to me.

I am to be the one who you knew you can hold hack and would’ve care for you in your waning.

I do not want that. . .

All I know that is yours to be in.

All I know that is yours to bear.

I will give my own misery for no one,

but my shit muthastinking way,

that is mine alone.


©XENOphagz, XenoGrapx

®Artsydhude 97-19

Bored of view

I dunno,

why of all I did,

yet I know and known;

I needed of attention from.

Though u R mine by a paper,

and the years I wished near you,

wanting to give all of my life;

now I want to get out as soon,

as I needed an excuse just to remove myself;

coz I cannot stand your essence of each moment of presence.

Is it that simple,

The big “D” has to be there so all of my woes and existence,

do disappear instantly and all of joyous smirks I’ll ever have.

Is that possible,

Can it be probable,

May be, if I weren’t of Asian descent,

I’d find a way.

I am staying not for anything.

Coz in a way,

I am totally free with you

in a manner of adjustment.



®Artsydhude 97-19

™XENOphagz, XenoGrapx

My life is an idea,

my mind is a concept,

where my heart of my emotions are nothing of my devotion.

To a concept of all the stress that lingers,

in and out of my consciousness.

in and out of dreams of absolute non sense.

in and out of my own life’s decision that was revoked.

Because of all,

you still think

you still believe

you still have faith,

That I cannot live under your yoke.

Only your lip can be shut by yourself.

Only your lip can be zipped by yourself.

Thereof nothing I can do,

but not to love you.

but not of hatred of your face.

but not to ask of them to help you.

but not to be someone in your life that never gave up on you.



®Artsydhude 97-19

™XENOphagz , XenoGrapx

Focus of hatred

An idea of all concept

will be a construct lies,

not of the firmament of all foundation.

Yet it solidifies here where my bone is

lodged in the memory of hatred,

because that of focus of rage is the fuel

I need. . .

not to move,

not to begin,

neither or either where my insanity lies.

You of all,

should have at least gave love,

in spite of it all.

You kept your jealousy for yourself

and a selfish greed that knows no evil only to yourself.




If u were here,

What would I say?

If u were here,

Where would my touch be?

If u were here,

Can I force you at least to stay a minute or a day just to have between us?


You are not here,

But your eyes I do love.

You are not here,

Yet your memories play as streaming endless loop in my


You are not here,

Now I am not alone because u r here for me everytime I need your loving caress.