. . . papa hirapan ko pa ba ang aking;

mata sa kaka iyak.

puso para magdugo.

kamay sa aking mga abilidad.

Kaso lan,

paano pa kung . . .

eto ay andyan.

eto ay pakita pa.

eto ay nakita sa yo.

How the hell of a fuck,

must I be so naive to think. . .

you can at least know what I had gone thru.

In a way,

I want and need to dig deep and will,

I want and need to dig deep and cry of all tries,

I want and need to dig deep for you to know.

I will not,

Blame all your shame.

Blame how you neglected and abandoned.

Blame how you are and will always be.

In my way. . .

that is how I want to forgive you,

that is how I want to love you.

that is how I will always honor and respect you.

I am to know of a miserable past that doesn’t make sense to me.

I am to be the one who you knew you can hold hack and would’ve care for you in your waning.

I do not want that. . .

All I know that is yours to be in.

All I know that is yours to bear.

I will give my own misery for no one,

but my shit muthastinking way,

that is mine alone.


©XENOphagz, XenoGrapx

®Artsydhude 97-19


Bored of view

I dunno,

why of all I did,

yet I know and known;

I needed of attention from.

Though u R mine by a paper,

and the years I wished near you,

wanting to give all of my life;

now I want to get out as soon,

as I needed an excuse just to remove myself;

coz I cannot stand your essence of each moment of presence.

Is it that simple,

The big “D” has to be there so all of my woes and existence,

do disappear instantly and all of joyous smirks I’ll ever have.

Is that possible,

Can it be probable,

May be, if I weren’t of Asian descent,

I’d find a way.

I am staying not for anything.

Coz in a way,

I am totally free with you

in a manner of adjustment.



®Artsydhude 97-19

™XENOphagz, XenoGrapx

My life is an idea,

my mind is a concept,

where my heart of my emotions are nothing of my devotion.

To a concept of all the stress that lingers,

in and out of my consciousness.

in and out of dreams of absolute non sense.

in and out of my own life’s decision that was revoked.

Because of all,

you still think

you still believe

you still have faith,

That I cannot live under your yoke.

Only your lip can be shut by yourself.

Only your lip can be zipped by yourself.

Thereof nothing I can do,

but not to love you.

but not of hatred of your face.

but not to ask of them to help you.

but not to be someone in your life that never gave up on you.



®Artsydhude 97-19

™XENOphagz , XenoGrapx

Focus of hatred

An idea of all concept

will be a construct lies,

not of the firmament of all foundation.

Yet it solidifies here where my bone is

lodged in the memory of hatred,

because that of focus of rage is the fuel

I need. . .

not to move,

not to begin,

neither or either where my insanity lies.

You of all,

should have at least gave love,

in spite of it all.

You kept your jealousy for yourself

and a selfish greed that knows no evil only to yourself.

A dismal day(images in 2018)

A purple moon shone once upon a dismal day in a life of Cain’s dissaray.

A smirk once shed a smile on her eye’s that shone only a viloent lust that did thrust,

and yes she did trust, only to know.

If she did do,

kept her vengeance in sight,

not just that love of eden,

would and should have been hers,


She will need to wrestle all of,

and none of.

Only to see,

that this one,

came for her and her only.



®Artsydhude 97-18

™XENOphagz, XenoGrapx


For a forgotten god,

that did honor all that is tomorrow.

Yet he seen none all of the now,

it kept filling all his,

to be seen and saw that existed none all of his prophetic eye.

Then did not do,

all he can was,

to cast his world what he wanted it to be.

Now we are living a shared eye from his

own dreaming,

soon only soon that all of 

its stanzas and all of that immortal quatrain.

Will all of us,

feel all his pain,

and manifest his visions

that a light that should not have been ours.



®Artsydhude 97-18

™XENOphagz, XenoGrapx

Split my hate in twain,

I have that fire and rage

to see my desire burns of what life has to offer.

Move my love,

I will roll the days like no other.

Any of expectations of my frustrations,

knowing all I have felt, seen, touched and given time

listened enough for all efforts.

Love is hate,

Hate is Love,

all there is are none

for it is as the same as above nor below,

neither in the middle.

Only to have

not to hold,

Only to gain,

always lose.

That I,

can never

Love and Hate,


At the same time.



®Artsydhude 97-18

™XENOphagz, XenoGrapx