Digital drawing, free verse, pain and suffering, poetry

I must . . .

. . accept all of it.

. . fail the failures.

. . leave all of the love.

So i can end my miserable life in tow.

So i can see a new end in sight of emotional trauma.

And in the end;

It shall begin a new day.

It does begin a new era of my anger beneath all of it.

It can start the fire of all focused opportunities;

Life can offer me.





Digital drawing, free verse, Life, meloncholia, pain and suffering, poetry, reflective, relationships

Deflect to Reflect.

A feather was given to me by a crow.

It has rainbow colors.

The crow looked at me sideways.

I pulled yellow,

I saw myself at 80’s.

I pulled blue,

I saw myself from a toddler into my 8th year.


I saw none but I felt all of the fear I felt

through all my years.


All of the opportunity missed and experiences.


Felt all the range of rage,

to all my loneliness of all my sorrows.


My immediate and relatives

the ones who loved me,

those who can say but not even dare show.

On a whim of a breeze, I feel the last feather

Shown a color of what people are,

shown the true test of a person’s love and affection.


why even bother to give when one can not even leave

his ego behind, 

and ends what a past can hold.



®artsydhude 7-18


Digital drawing, free verse, Life, pain and suffering, poetry

Pho-m .129!!


it is a system where one can get all that is needed.


it maybe a network of personnel that adheres to a policy of help.


some say friends and family are the best there is.

Maybe in my mind it is distorted,

When it shows me my history of support,

to the ones who are most close to me,

can support me if I can first give all their needs first.

Then the support can bought off.

Maybe in my personal past shown to me,

Support is there at the urgency of a real emergency,

that I need most;

in the hour when all else fails,

then the support shows.



®artsydhude 07-18


Digital drawing, pain and suffering, poetry

NmV #00.a1.o9.ii

To let go,

isn’t really practical.

To let go

is really hard to do.

Once then too often,

what we can say does not. . .

even make sense.

even make a whole nothing to begin.

can not understand what we end with our mouth on.

To understand,

what is to let go,

you need to know. . .

how it feels,

how it makes,

 you cannot cry with no tears in your eye,

your anger has nothing anymore

 but loathing not to others,

just yourself.



®artsydhude 07-18


Digital drawing, Emotional warfare, Life, pain and suffering, poetry, relationships

NmV #00.a1.o9.iii

Share me a mirror,

Which a partner who you can stand.

In aspect of you would love to aspire. . . 

would love of all her,


Good, bad, ugly memories. . .

through positive outcomes and the other’s.

Why then such negative enmity is always there.

Have I filled my mind of evilness against,

or was it the real neglect often reflect from you.

Now moat is up,

The black rook stands against everything,

I hear no one coming. . .

I hear only myself sobbing;

Letting no in but the sky who promises the love of the sun.



®artsydhude 07-18


Dickinson, Digital drawing, doodle, free verse, Influences, Life, Line art, pain and suffering, poetry

M tee-ness #42

These days were so filled of the madness which of my emotions and dared

to thrust all of my tongue to dry it out by talking all of my negative side.

Then only when it emptied,

I knew where to park my mind,

Unto its unkind vehicle upon a spot where no one can see,

that unhinged wrecked,

and yes a battered worned out and decapitated,

automaton of a mind that wont rest until

it was empty of its fuel and oil.