Buong buhay ko,

gusto sana maparis sa yo.

Kaso nga lan,

ayaw mo.

Buti hindi ako tumulad sa yo.

Because kung nagawa ko yun.

I would be first a spitting image of your own galit sa mundo.

Kaso nga lan,

I will not do so.

Kaso nga lan,

I do not want that.

Your grudge, grumpy and grinchy ways will be yours.

Sa inyo lan yan.

I will le
ave it at that.

I did not want anything of my life,

yet you handed me, mine.

Still you are and will be that one that is like an unchanging spot,

in any carpet that I will avoid and not see.

Kasi yun kamay ko,

sa kin lan.

Yours is yours.

At least at last,

what done is never done.

Its always going to be none,

to see,

only to help you what way I can.

Reminding you,

I was,

I am,


I am not,

still. . .

in honor of aspect.


your son.


®Artsydhude 97-19


. . . papa hirapan ko pa ba ang aking;

mata sa kaka iyak.

puso para magdugo.

kamay sa aking mga abilidad.

Kaso lan,

paano pa kung . . .

eto ay andyan.

eto ay pakita pa.

eto ay nakita sa yo.

How the hell of a fuck,

must I be so naive to think. . .

you can at least know what I had gone thru.

In a way,

I want and need to dig deep and will,

I want and need to dig deep and cry of all tries,

I want and need to dig deep for you to know.

I will not,

Blame all your shame.

Blame how you neglected and abandoned.

Blame how you are and will always be.

In my way. . .

that is how I want to forgive you,

that is how I want to love you.

that is how I will always honor and respect you.

I am to know of a miserable past that doesn’t make sense to me.

I am to be the one who you knew you can hold hack and would’ve care for you in your waning.

I do not want that. . .

All I know that is yours to be in.

All I know that is yours to bear.

I will give my own misery for no one,

but my shit muthastinking way,

that is mine alone.


©XENOphagz, XenoGrapx

®Artsydhude 97-19

My life is an idea,

my mind is a concept,

where my heart of my emotions are nothing of my devotion.

To a concept of all the stress that lingers,

in and out of my consciousness.

in and out of dreams of absolute non sense.

in and out of my own life’s decision that was revoked.

Because of all,

you still think

you still believe

you still have faith,

That I cannot live under your yoke.

Only your lip can be shut by yourself.

Only your lip can be zipped by yourself.

Thereof nothing I can do,

but not to love you.

but not of hatred of your face.

but not to ask of them to help you.

but not to be someone in your life that never gave up on you.



®Artsydhude 97-19

™XENOphagz , XenoGrapx

Focus of hatred

An idea of all concept

will be a construct lies,

not of the firmament of all foundation.

Yet it solidifies here where my bone is

lodged in the memory of hatred,

because that of focus of rage is the fuel

I need. . .

not to move,

not to begin,

neither or either where my insanity lies.

You of all,

should have at least gave love,

in spite of it all.

You kept your jealousy for yourself

and a selfish greed that knows no evil only to yourself.

A dismal day(images in 2018)

A purple moon shone once upon a dismal day in a life of Cain’s dissaray.

A smirk once shed a smile on her eye’s that shone only a viloent lust that did thrust,

and yes she did trust, only to know.

If she did do,

kept her vengeance in sight,

not just that love of eden,

would and should have been hers,


She will need to wrestle all of,

and none of.

Only to see,

that this one,

came for her and her only.



®Artsydhude 97-18

™XENOphagz, XenoGrapx

Split my hate in twain,

I have that fire and rage

to see my desire burns of what life has to offer.

Move my love,

I will roll the days like no other.

Any of expectations of my frustrations,

knowing all I have felt, seen, touched and given time

listened enough for all efforts.

Love is hate,

Hate is Love,

all there is are none

for it is as the same as above nor below,

neither in the middle.

Only to have

not to hold,

Only to gain,

always lose.

That I,

can never

Love and Hate,


At the same time.



®Artsydhude 97-18

™XENOphagz, XenoGrapx

Im4gel3$$ pa.iii

Mindless lessons.


For the one I knew,

They keep what I know.

Sur3 they gave m3 what I am,

Stilk makes me feel I am


For they will keep me going.

With their

Eternal and infinite

Good intentions that comes up,

Nothing more than a guilt ridden

Shame Coz

I changed into

some one they knew,

Who always wanted,

None but to cage.

That of a soul,

They do think

Binds them.

Because I carry what they

Know and have.

. . . I am to presume all of the years,

and the muddled,

scrubbed and soiled,

tattered and shed.

None at all by my own assumptions

since all of these lovely anxieties,

all of my disappointments,

are nothing to someone but,

an emotional tantrum.

Yet someone who had a paper saying,

that is the only case.

Then she hands me a paper saying,

take a number,

take this pill,

and shove everything.

Since all of my life’s trial

are none but all

that matters to no one.

Only to myself

I am to see.



®Artsydhude 97-18

™XENOphagz, XenoGrapx

Rant on. wtfhshz.

Mornings are always like your rain.

Its the same as your face.

Blunt, hard and offensive as u R.

Sometimes why do a I even bother

Give what loving patience I have.

Yes I know I am a sarcastic one

For you.

Thing is, u cant even see beyond your thick glasses,

That makes you once very,

Voluptous and alluring that made

My knees weak.


I cant even stand looking at you.

I cany rant and vent as much.

I will not deny my right on that.

That is the only thing,

I do for myself.

NsVs x AuVi 88.z:1

Crap your mouth,

coz I know

your effing greed will always be yours

and yours to your own.

I am not,

I will not be,

. . . yet I do have your family name.

. .  . yet you gave me my own first name.

Then what else is there,

when all of my ranting and raving rage.

So go ahead,

do want you want,

I am not,

I will not be a part of what you think,

Coz i know

your eternal and words be always.

 “Akala ko”.



®artsydhude 97-18