Count me in your clouds.

Number me your pointless words.

List how much I want and need your body next to me.

While I can not ennumerate all the times your mouth to shut.

When a digit of your embrace would have clung to me not as a memory but of the experience of our lust for free.



Yellow is the sky

,after I read your eye.

Brown shall be

the one to make me

Love your “I’s”.

Black could be my heart,

Knowing only.

You can never touch,

The things I want for me.

My dearies,

Annie, Diana and my beautiful baby Prunella.

The Past was the most loving life you made me realize you three were the ones that made it complete.

Annie my anxieties, you are mine to cast tomorrow and the most alluring shame of mine.

Diana of all bittersweet depression. You and I always make love of my misery and innermost pain. Please keep the blame we gather and spend most lovingly.

Prunella, my sweetest pasts that lies to begin that won’t ever end. You will be my vampire queen that sucks me into those depths where my own leviathian of my assumptions that never fled of my own flood.

Sincerely yours.


Certified life

Nakita mo na,

Kahit di ko na kaya,

Ti tingin ka lan ba.

Alam mo ng di mo na kaya,

alam mo ng super at sakit na ako sa hirap.

Sure alam ko,

you will always watch.

to your amusement.

Para saan pa at andyan ka

sa buhay ko.

Then how do I start,

When can I believe,

How am I going make it eveyday,

I am simply single with a beautiful princess beside me,

and nag i-isang companion in my life lan.

That’s a lie when it does state in a paper 

saying ;

Ma…d .





My pet dhee-ab-bhlow

come here my pet.

come hither to my side.

Come here now to my similar side.

You of all my familiars.

I am yours and you are mine,

not anymore,

no more of my human construct and conditions.

no more fears of all my doubts.

no more blazing tears that spears onto my beige skin.

So it seems you came back after all.

My lovely Prunella,

oh sweetest temptation that suck the marrow of my skin.

oh sweetest devotion that lingers at the bottom in the opening

of that threshold,

to which you slyly coo at my attention.

So it seems you can always count me out,

You do know,

I am staying.

So ask that pet bird of yours,

to come to me,

I have been looking for her.

Tell her I may,

but I dunno.

Let Pheez be the one trail

all embers from here,

to Timbaktu and

Mirkwood to oars of Narnia,

and back.


come to me.


Buong buhay ko,

gusto sana maparis sa yo.

Kaso nga lan,

ayaw mo.

Buti hindi ako tumulad sa yo.

Because kung nagawa ko yun.

I would be first a spitting image of your own galit sa mundo.

Kaso nga lan,

I will not do so.

Kaso nga lan,

I do not want that.

Your grudge, grumpy and grinchy ways will be yours.

Sa inyo lan yan.

I will le
ave it at that.

I did not want anything of my life,

yet you handed me, mine.

Still you are and will be that one that is like an unchanging spot,

in any carpet that I will avoid and not see.

Kasi yun kamay ko,

sa kin lan.

Yours is yours.

At least at last,

what done is never done.

Its always going to be none,

to see,

only to help you what way I can.

Reminding you,

I was,

I am,


I am not,

still. . .

in honor of aspect.


your son.


®Artsydhude 97-19

. . . papa hirapan ko pa ba ang aking;

mata sa kaka iyak.

puso para magdugo.

kamay sa aking mga abilidad.

Kaso lan,

paano pa kung . . .

eto ay andyan.

eto ay pakita pa.

eto ay nakita sa yo.

How the hell of a fuck,

must I be so naive to think. . .

you can at least know what I had gone thru.

In a way,

I want and need to dig deep and will,

I want and need to dig deep and cry of all tries,

I want and need to dig deep for you to know.

I will not,

Blame all your shame.

Blame how you neglected and abandoned.

Blame how you are and will always be.

In my way. . .

that is how I want to forgive you,

that is how I want to love you.

that is how I will always honor and respect you.

I am to know of a miserable past that doesn’t make sense to me.

I am to be the one who you knew you can hold hack and would’ve care for you in your waning.

I do not want that. . .

All I know that is yours to be in.

All I know that is yours to bear.

I will give my own misery for no one,

but my shit muthastinking way,

that is mine alone.


©XENOphagz, XenoGrapx

®Artsydhude 97-19

Please go ahead understand my avoidance of you,

do glance of me ignoring you.

In a way I do know,

that’s your style of becoming someone not to someone,

than to have your time 

you can be honest to say.

 “I haved failed you as a father,

can’t you see. . .

I needed to know if you can fail as one too.”

 I do love all your failures,

each time I fell into and unto all the hells of each year,

passed and past of all my own evil ways of my life.

I wanted none to harbor.

Only Sisyphus led me here by your damned boulder.


I can get out by my own.

See to it when I climb the eternal stairs of all limbo to purgatory.

I will not pray,

I will not succumb,

yet I just have to move no matter

 how much unending emotionless my steps can.

To know of a smile that do awaits me at the end 

of a long trail of a 44th avenue in Melendez territory,

under the stars of St. Michael’s strand 

which of my grandfather ‘s green.



®Artsydhude 97-19

™XENOphagz, XenoGrapx

Bored of view

I dunno,

why of all I did,

yet I know and known;

I needed of attention from.

Though u R mine by a paper,

and the years I wished near you,

wanting to give all of my life;

now I want to get out as soon,

as I needed an excuse just to remove myself;

coz I cannot stand your essence of each moment of presence.

Is it that simple,

The big “D” has to be there so all of my woes and existence,

do disappear instantly and all of joyous smirks I’ll ever have.

Is that possible,

Can it be probable,

May be, if I weren’t of Asian descent,

I’d find a way.

I am staying not for anything.

Coz in a way,

I am totally free with you

in a manner of adjustment.



®Artsydhude 97-19

™XENOphagz, XenoGrapx