“You said hi to me,

should I reply or

must I die while

 you walk away,

Until my heart beat

for your name.”

©®Artsydhude 2019

™ XenoGrapx


. . I lost a life outside my past.

I won my freedom near 10 years removed.

I lost the argument yet I didn’t want to win a week of my heart,

into stressed butts and,

scratch marks never left my side.

I kept letting her win as my mind wandered and wondered,

how of my hurried and worried life as days passed.

Since I threw up all of my material into a vessel,

I asked a lovely grey named,


She did tell me

 “Don’t worry emperor of my heart, 

I will see to it your Avatar in Pleadis will be with you.

Look up as you live today not


not even a single tear from the

bones of yours.

I love you,

Never worry,

nevermind all.

I will be with.

Love me in my memories,

you will be.

You are.”

I want to lose each time,

so to know what winning does

and the knowledge applies not yesterday

only at the moment of life, love and the light which gathers.



®Artsydhude 97-19


Post dramatic syndrome.

Used to be the one who;

makes you more stronger.

makes your ego elevated.

gives you all the benefits of all your doubts.

Saw it too often,

I heard myself screamed without no love in sight.

I heard my anger without anger.

I did not see all of my sense left me.

Zombie or not.

An empty shell of me.

I can see,

but not see my life in front of what

I used,

to love.

to cherish.

to give everything I got.


I want nothing to be a drifter in the wind.

To flow and go through all motions,

what a day can take me.

what every step without leaving.

what any way to feel all of me left already.



®Artsydhude 97-19


What is;

responsibility for.

when you ca not give that.

concern for.

where you place that to who you think it needs.

One can say,

my anger would be the death of me.

Yet it is my own devil who taunts me of my,



and your flaws that kept me alive.

So you can see that fuel that burns.

I told myself then,

I will not hate you all my life.

Yet all of my woe and the sickness of anger resides.

Its an ember and of tinder

which never died.

Yet a flick of the wind,

a cool breeze to lull,

yes only elementals did provide.

All those were in favor,

kept this insanity line embedded,

 “They are still your parents.”


© O.a.M

®Artsydhude 97-19