. . I lost a life outside my past.

I won my freedom near 10 years removed.

I lost the argument yet I didn’t want to win a week of my heart,

into stressed butts and,

scratch marks never left my side.

I kept letting her win as my mind wandered and wondered,

how of my hurried and worried life as days passed.

Since I threw up all of my material into a vessel,

I asked a lovely grey named,


She did tell me

 “Don’t worry emperor of my heart, 

I will see to it your Avatar in Pleadis will be with you.

Look up as you live today not


not even a single tear from the

bones of yours.

I love you,

Never worry,

nevermind all.

I will be with.

Love me in my memories,

you will be.

You are.”

I want to lose each time,

so to know what winning does

and the knowledge applies not yesterday

only at the moment of life, love and the light which gathers.



®Artsydhude 97-19






 ” How much of the things what

I needed of your truth from your mouth

that embraces my neck,

my hands to yours,

my loving pistons

that hammer the spot.

Where I am putty that doodle

of this poodle. ”


©®Artsydhude 2019

™XenoGrapx , XENOphagz

In at the line of. . .

Find me a strength to make a fight.

A fight that does not last,

that does make things

not right 

nor a wrong word to make my day,

be more colorful than a month back.

be mundane enough to see the black sky as the only blue clarity as I see fit.

Inasmuch to have nothing,

yet only a longing embrace from a deeper sense of what;

I will make,

I can take,

but of all the pink cake 

I shall not want.

Only to hear the spiders laugh,

the smirks of cockroaches takes the half

of humankind’s feet.



®Artsydhude 97-19


Lost in my mind,

then after losing my heart.

My stress became arrested,

not of days. . .

into things I cannot,




Only to exercise my 

submission to you.

Coz I know you do know

what it means,

to treat me as not,

to treat me as a,

yet I can only see your eyes

can not see me.

As I am now,

only for you to see me

as I were.

If we are to live like so,

I dunno.


®Artsydhude 97-19



. . Is it just when the ice does melt; whereas the fire fire do melt

my tempered attitude willingly deny the truth when your fact is an act

towards not to me.

But you will never admit your mistakes because you still make your egocentric self-defense as,

the one who put me here in this world. 

Here’s Megatron,

use it well let’s see,

so please don’t ever tell me,

I was any Soundwave whom never spoke.

I am not your Decepticon.



®Artsydhude 97-19

Why do all. . .

of my memory,

do keep. . .

taunting me.

loving me.

and yes reminds me.

Why do I live there?

Can’t I get out of its grip,

you of all things in mind.

You are such a storm crow,

that never lands but does fall on all of my thoughts.

Sure I can,

. . avoid,

. . ignore,

. . stop,

and make you go away.

Still like as a leaf,

you do make my life a seasoned worrier of my past.

Never ceases to amaze even all of those emotional maelstrom,

yes those passed.

yes I went through it all.

I prayed constantly and consistent that 

you won’t happen again.

Am I addicted to all that I haven’t done

would I imagine you here.

I want to make my own and now of what a

Thought can make me.

not the then,

than to keep like this.



®Artsydhude 97-19